We are six months into 2022 and let me tell you, time is flying. So far I have nothing but lessons learned and great experiences to tell you folks about this year. The journey in 2022 has been nothing but a walk through flames. However, this year started in destruction and felt like agony try to get things started. Let me explain.
Self destruction at my finest. That would be the best one liner that describes how last year went for me. I was ready to throw away my life again and do one of my famous restarts. Isolation, re-thinking my goals in life and asking myself why am I here?
2021 Flashback
I was miserable at my job and the relationship I was in at the time. I didn’t know why, couldn’t figure out how to fix anything, and COVID did not help. My mental health deteriorated rapidly, and my world around me shrunk.
I was at point in my life again, where I felt trapped and I had no idea which way was up.
Though, I hate timing sometimes, the cliche of everything happens for a reason rang true. My ex and I finally separated and I had to heal from my breakup. At the same time, certain people left work too, leaving things in limbo.
What a lovely holiday season I got to experience.
January
The year ended and a new year started. I returned to work after taking a few days to myself. Walked in to the office, and went right into a meeting with my Director. The outcome: a promotion I was not expecting.
It went right into business from there. No breaks. That’s when it hit me, it wasn’t my job that was making me unhappy, it was the people I was working with. I reminded myself why I choose this company to work for, and pushed on.
I moved back home… again. [Dear parents, you will never get rid of me.] That’s when it hit me that I have to make an overhaul of my life. I needed to readjust and figure out my values again.
Let me tell you, pulling myself (mental heath wise) together, adjusting to my new position at work, and being single again sounds like a dreadful task. It is, but so far, the journey has been worth it. I will forever give credit to my support system for being there through everything and keeping my internal flame alive. Even when I felt like disappearing and dying at times.
Baby Steps + Stillness
For the first time I actually decided to let myself feel my feelings when they came around and ask myself why. It was also the first time I decided not to go drowning in distractions and just endure the slight pain of change.
After calling back in November, I finally got an appointment to start therapy in March and quite honestly I am very proud of myself for finally going. I will give you folks an updated therapy journey another day.
I then realized that travel was picking up again. So I did what I am known to do best, and booked myself a trip. Destination: Vancouver, and yes by myself… not my first rodeo.
Got on the plane, and honestly enjoyed my time up there and did a lot of things that I wanted to always do. It was then I realized that I missed the person I used to be: happy and in love with my life. I learned to appreciate time spent with myself and others, and to enjoy the present moments again. I
Came back from my trip with the understanding that I am who I am and that I have so much more to offer the world.
Action Plan
All business when I got back. That flame that everyone kept alive in me started to grow and I used it to keep me going. I continued to keep pushing forward with work and my therapy sessions. The emotions that came out weren’t always the best, and the tears and frustration showed, but I kept going.
I then went on my first corporate work trip to Miami and NY and then the dots really started to connect. I am here to build an empire in my life. An empire that requires a bunch of blood, sweat, flames, and tears. Where my beliefs, values, emotions, and ambition continue to show.
Now the time is right. Where I decide to throw kerosine everywhere and watch this world burn to the ground. The amount of healing I have accomplished and the amount of growth I still get to experience, the universe is endless.
I am writing this a week leading up to my girls trip to Europe, and I look back and just smile. I honestly am happy that 2022 is another one of my years.
